Forty-two minutes...a lifetime of love...

God's Gift...Our Angel Baby

Twenty weeks into life, Hailey was diagnosed with alobar holoprosencephaly (HPE). Further testing showed that she had full Trisomy 13, also called Patau syndrome. Trisomy 13 affects about 1 in 16,000 babies. HPE affects about 1 in 10,000 babies and of those only 3% survive to delivery. With the severity of Hailey's condition, she is given little chance of surviving to term. But our family was dedicated to giving her that chance, no matter how small, and she gave us every hope for the future.

On June 12, 2009, our angel baby was born and delivered into our loving arms. There is where she spent her life and gave us the best 42 minutes of ours. Our journey led us to this moment in time, the moment we met our little girl face to face, and the precious time we shared with her. Now Hailey is safe in the hands of God until we meet again.

God has blessed our family in ways we didn't understand at first. But through our faith and trust in Him, we came to realize just how much purpose Hailey's life serves on this earth. Hailey has unlocked the deeper meaning of faith, hope and love, and has forever changed the lives of many. We are blessed to be part of such an incredible life and incredible journey.

Psalm 139:13-16

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Thinking of Hailey

I've wanted to write many times over the past several months, but every time I tried, I failed. The holidays proved to be harder than I had feared, and it was all I could take just to get through them. I doubt my friends, family, or even my husband were able to see my struggle, but that was my goal. I wanted to keep the holidays as merry as I could, but waking up Christmas morning with a smile on my face was not something I thought I could do - but I did it. Throughout the day I watched Ryan open his presents and play with his new toys with a smile on my face and a piercing ache in my heart. The picture of our family is beautiful, and I for one am truly grateful that we could be together, but that's just it...we weren't all there.

I miss Hailey every second of every day. But there are many, many times when I see our family together and I look for our beautiful baby girl. I don't know what to do when my heart wants her so badly. So sometimes I'm quiet; sometimes I just sit and watch a movie; sometimes I stay at work a little longer; and usually those are the steps that build up to the times I lay in Hailey's room and cry. I miss Hailey every second of every day, but it is when I finally look up that I find her. And when I find her I'm able to smile again. My heart is renewed for a time before the missing sets in again.

I want everyone who has lost a child to know that my thoughts and prayers go out to you. Over the holidays I prayed for all who were enduring the first or yet another season thinking of your child rather than holding them. And I pray that the new year will hold new found joy and comfort to ease each of our hearts.

In God's Hands,



I am a very blessed mother in that both my children keep me busy - even Hailey. We are gearing up for the March of Dimes, March for Babies walk on April 25th, and this year the walk is dedicated in memory of Hailey! Needless to say, we are humbled for a walk to remember Hailey's Hope and the hope that each child brings to make this world a happier place to be.

Stay tuned for more exciting announcments...
But Jesus said, "Let the little ones come to me, and do not keep them away; for such is the kingdom of heaven." - Matthew 19:14